Countdown to SEA

2026-03-24 - 00:25

With two more days till the Secondary Entrance Assessment (SEA) exam, I can only imagine the anxiety, stress, fear and perhaps even dread. Next year will be my son’s turn. I am not looking forward to it. Last September, my son entered Standard Four. For a while now, I had noticed his childhood slowly slipping away and my sense of frustration started festering and growing. His entrance into Standard Four meant another change in schedule, not just for him, but for his entire family. My son’s schedule is brutal, which means, everyone around him must make the necessary adjustments. He wakes up for school early, is picked up from school at 3 pm, quickly eats a sandwich in the car while en route to afterschool lessons and is home at around 7 pm. But home doesn’t necessarily mean that the day is over and he can rest; no, home now means shower, eat, homework. His only rest day from lessons is on a Friday. I am the one running his schedule because, as a parent, I must, but I am also the one who detests the schedule. I have started noting his moods, the sadness in his eyes, the slump in his shoulders on some evenings, and, being the soft mother I am, I have given in to a random evening off. After all, just as we sometimes need a break, they do as well. An afternoon to go home and relax a little, be a child for just a few minutes. Maybe, some parents may disagree and say this is the time to sacrifice and push through, but my son is ten, his childhood is slipping away, as he grows older, there will be little time to slow down, so, let me help him to learn that we sometimes need to stop and take a minute to breathe. Being surrounded by SEA parents has made me appreciate that we are not all the same. I have seen those who have a tunnel vision and their child’s only focus should be passing for a prestige school of the parents’ choosing. I have also seen parents who threaten, verbally abuse and add another layer of stress on their children. I have seen parents who have conditioned in their children that failure to secure a prestige school pass would result in a bleak future. I do understand that a prestige school brings with it a certain distinction among your peers. But, are we really convincing our children that they would amount to little if they cannot secure their first-choice pass? Are we really, as parents, placing that burden on shoulders too fragile to carry such a load? As parents, in one breath, we celebrate the rights of our children. We wait for November 20th each year and show up with gifts and hugs and kisses. Yet, in preparation for one examination, we forget about the welfare of our children and concentrate instead on our own selfish motives (after all, we need to boast about the prestige pass). We forget our child’s right to proper development, love, protection and care. Instead, we focus on relentless threats should they perform badly and place them on a schedule that will cripple the best of us. We refuse to hear their worries, concerns and fears. We don’t see the tears when they receive a bad test report, we refuse to hear their complaints of being overwhelmed, we expect more from these children than we have ever expected of ourselves. So, SEA is two days away. Our children are not all made equal. There are some who are mathematical whizzes, those who are creative writers and thinkers, those who write faster and those who need to take their time. There are children who will stand brave in the morning and those who may be so nervous. But, regardless of which it is, they will enter the room as our children and walk out still being our children. There will be some prestige passes, there will be some disappointments, but life is made of both. As parents, we need to acknowledge that our academic system is structured in such a way that unreasonable weight is placed on our children at a young age. Let us not use the weight of our expectations to crush them. To our children who will bravely walk into the SEA rooms on March 26th, I am already proud of you all. As a mother who dreads the schedule, I am amazed at your resilience to see it through. You have all worked incredibly hard and this is just the beginning of a long and difficult academic journey. Sadly, it doesn’t end here; it has just started. Breathe, focus, clear your heads and give it your best. We are proud of you. The prestige pass isn’t the beginning or the end. It is never how you start the race, but how you finish. There will be many more examinations to come; this is the first stepping stone. You will all be just fine. Breathe. Pavitra Ramharack is head of chambers at Pavitra Ramharack Attorneys at Law and can be reached at ramharack_pavitra@outlook.com